My dad often quotes the Quaker theologian Elton Trueblood, who once said to “live your life in chapters.” This phrase really resonates with me as well, and it is on my mind today on several levels.
We celebrated our wedding anniversary this week and our 15 years together have included several chapters already, some of which have been wonderful, some unexpected, and all of which are part of the story of Us.
A friend of mine texted this morning to say that her family is moving to another state in a matter of months, and of course while I am excited for them, I also know that this means that a sweet chapter with our particular group of friends will come to a close.
I finally published this blog site last night, beginning a new chapter in my alopecia story, and really in the story of me.
I like the idea of chapters because it acknowledges and gives definition to the end of a part of the story, while also providing a blank page for a new beginning and another story-within-the-story to unfold. I feel anticipation at the beginning of a chapter. What will happen? Where will the plot take us? What new characters will enter the mix?
At the same time, I am also a person who likes plans. I am a checklist lover at heart, and if I do something that isn’t on my list, I will often add it to the list just for the sheer pleasure of checking it off. I know some of you totally feel me on this. While this habit can be useful for accomplishing goals, it also means that I vastly prefer having at least a general an idea of what is to come. I love parties but don’t love surprise parties. I like adventure and spontaneity in its time, but I don’t love unforeseen changes to regular plans or expectations.
The beginning of this alopecia chapter feels different for me than most. For this season I have been doing everything I can to avoid planning ahead, at least for now. I don't want to get ahead of myself, or ahead of the process. No checklists, no long-term vision, no 5-step plan to success, no Googling the "right way" to do this. Just show up and keep showing up. Pray for wisdom and words, and trust that the purpose of all of this will become clear in time, that this chapter of my story will be meaningful and good.
I am surprised by what a relief and release this has been – both to start sharing my story and giving myself the grace to live in the moment. I feel lighter, freer, and honestly, I am enjoying myself! Looking forward to seeing how this chapter unfolds...one word at a time.
